I was named Shirley until a few moments
after I was born.
My parents spent many years
convincing me
they were not disappointed.
My mother finally found the
right phrase.
She convinced me that her
luck was so bad that she
had been expecting a girl.
I preferred that scenario rather
than the more obvious one.
Happy surprise
or brave face put
on for disappointment was of
little matter to me.
What really mattered is
I have spent my life wondering
what it would have been like
if I had another Shirley.
Sheer disaster!
I was born
on the same day as Shirley Temple.
I would have lived a life time of expectations
for dimples, dance steps and winning smile.
Then there would have been the challenge
of being as smart as Shirley Anderson
or having a voice as beautiful as Shirley Gardner's
or being as beautiful as Shirley Savage
or as popular a leader as Shirley Carter.
Never would have made it.
I have no traits that would go well
with a name like Shirley.
I never knew another Douglas
until I watched Doug Fairbanks
with his sword
fight like a super hero.
He became a model
for a skinny, fair skinned lad.
The resulting creation
may not have worked too well.
For, I am afraid
if you asked some of my friends
to identify my greatest personal weakness,
there would be,
I am sure,
a number who would say
that I tried to be too much
of a swashbuckler what with my
in your face ascots, turquoise and silver.
Maybe, my being a Shirley
would have been better
for the world if not for me.
All the world needed was one more swordsman.