There is, I hear, a plot to kill us off.
The Mad Scientists and the Religious Right Wing
of the Republican Party
(or is it the Atheistic Left Wing of the Democratic Party)
have joined forces and declared war on us.
They have poisoned our water,
Contaminated the air we breathe,
and made our food a chemical time bomb.
Electric currents and radio waves from
our microwaves, high voltage lines
and computer screen
shoot cancer into us.
Diesel fumes and second hand cigarette smoke
clog our lungs.
Organically grown vegetables are washed
with poisonous water.
Our daily life is a walk through a minefield
we planted for ourselves.
Everything we eat, breathe, drink,
or touch is certain death.
We must live in constant fear.
We talk of our plight
at every new danger report.
Only with the help
of our friend and ally,
the media,
do we get through the day?
We rush out each morning and get
the paper to read
the latest danger revelation.
We watch TV talk shows
and read the magazines
to know how to avoid these evil traps.
We know we should be even more afraid,
but we have our friends,
those staunch folks of the media.
With their efforts we will survive forever -
unless the media has sold out
to the alliance
and is trying to scare us to death.
That would be a deadly plot.
Naw! That could never be.
The real plot is so scary
we will have to live
forever in a plastic dome
with clean everything.
Then we can expect them
to stick a pin
in our dome.
Only vigilance will save us.
So form a committee,
make a list,
sign petitions
and vote for immortality.
Let us defeat the evil cabal
or like the University lab rats
we will surely die.