Learning to Grow Old

 Learning to Grow Old

When I was a lad of 60

         I was sure that getting old was

         just a matter of counting years

         and smiling bravely.

Now I have a diploma

         indicating that I have learned

          the hard lessons of growing old.

The curriculum was really tough

         and at first I had an attendance problem,

         as I  passed for late middle-aged.

Lesson one happened on my exercise path.

A small fence, which I had jumped

         with ease as I jogged along a few years ago,

        became a major hurdle.

One day I could not jump the railing

         and had to step over it with great care.

Now I have to crawl over with little promise

         that I will be able to do that much longer.

Learning to put on shoes when I no longer bend enough,

         made ever so much more difficult

         as I can no longer trim my toenails

         which keep getting caught inside the sox. 

Now about that smell of old men

         and women, maybe.

I assure you the cause is easy to spot

          on the floor of any bathroom.

Control is compromised and random streams

         do dampen clothing as well as shoes and floors.

So mop like mad, shower with the perfumes of Arabia.

And clean clothes, washer-and dryer-fresh every day,

          even if you have gotten used to the smell.

Gradually you fade away.                                                      Practice for a fitting end-game,

        for soon you become almost invisible.

Once the authority on many things,

         you are no longer asked

         and your contributions offered arekindly shelved.

The mobile and active days are no longer there.

Eat a meal, read a book

         or just sit stillf or the sleep monster to arrive

Relatives want you to be warm

         so you soon have a sweater

         for every day of the week

         and then every day of the month. 

Downsizing is clearly indicated,

         but to do so sends

         the “he prepares to die” signal.

Try not to forget,        

         write it down

         and don’t lose the paper.

Multi-tasking activities

         become scripts for comedy programs

         starring a dazed

         “what am I doing here”.

An errand is put aside for

         an urgent problem spotted on the way

         and the earlier job undone.

So watch me closely, listen carefully,

         take notes and perhaps

         learning to be old will be easier for you .

Doug Minnis

December 14, 2010