Is It Really Me?

Written
1981

 I had conversations with myself

       in the Monk's cell of my mind.

Spoken was the secret of  myself weeping

       with joy or sadness when no one looked.

      Of the feeling of joy

       at sunsets and birds

       and winds that move

       the puff clouds across the sky .

Then the  shimmer the palette reflections of sky

       in the still lake of rain water.

Of the loving children

       with whom I can share these lovely sights.

      Of music of beauty

       that says what I cannot.

Of the person I am.

Of the person I am not.

Of the role written

       by others for me to play.

And the great hunger

       for a companion. 

A companion to the real me.

A companion not fearful

       of the voice from the mind cell.

A scrapping on the wall

       of the Monk's cell.

A tapping from beyond.

A hint of music.

A sighed breath.

A scent of spring.

A vision of shafts of sunshine.

A cautious response

        and a cautious response

        soon made the cell wall a drumhead.

Songs of joy, beauty and happy babble

        resound from the instrument.

Sending and receiving messages is

       a crescendo of joy and discovery.

Companion we have so much to say.

We have so much

        to see and hear.

Trust and love we can have.

They are our building tools.

With them can I leave the Monk's cells?

Open your door

        and lets stand in the sunlight. 

I know you and your beauty.

I want to be

       with that real you.

Companion of the Monk's cell

        is that really you?

Is this really me at last? 

 

 

 

Notes
Too much of my life at this time was in my head. I dreamed and hid my feelings.It passed and I got to the place where the inter and outer me connected. At this time I had no sense of myself outside of roles others set for me.I think that is why I started to write poetry.