Alpha /beta me
When I was young I was confident.
I was sure I could do anything
I set my mind and body to do.
I was the Alpha male.
My pack was Butch and Spike.
We were all Alpha males capable and daring.
Now in my old age I visit Butch and Spike
in the retirement home
where they have become betas.
No longer sure and capable,
they are pushed to eat and take pills.
They are even pushed down the hall
in their wheel chairs by attendants.
Attendants for the Butch and Spike
of yesteryear?
Clearly some where through the time door
one moves up the alphabet from
a to b.
If there is to be a Full Monty beta waiting for me
in the future, I hope for a speeding car.
The beta follows me like a shadow
When the change occurs is a mystery.
Perhaps the metamorphous is not unlike menopause.
In the middle of it all is a form of schizophrenia.
I am there right now.
I wake as an Alpha and go to bed as a beta.
The Alpha in me accepts the challenge.
The beta has to deliver.
Alpha plans a trip.
Beta dreads going anywhere
and worries through a dozen practice sessions.
Alpha orders from the menu.
Beta asks for a carry out box.
Alpha flirts - beta worries that
it might lead to something.
Shopping is a dance between that which is good
and what beta is allowed.
My doctor is a geriatric specialist when he treats me.
Then how come he was assigned an
office in Pediatrics when I had my last appointment?
The Goodwill store benefits from my Alpha buying size 38 slacks
only to have beta need a size 42.
Now I am mostly bluff.
How are you today? Great! Just Great!
Take out the garbage early with a loud flair.
Walk with a fast gait.
Wear the clothing of an Alpha Chief
Is my a/b split still obvious to all?
I would like to surprise everyone.
Ponce De Leon searched and did not
find the Alpha pool.
It is not the Captain Marvel Cape
I wear and say Schazam.
The most that has come of that
is a loud beta laugh.
Next try is to order old man restorer
in a telling wrapper.
I will try the Yankees training camp.
I will sit in the Co-existence Bagel shop
in my ascot and painter's jacket
And listen to loud poetry.
I was an Alpha.
I am an Alpha.
Forever an Alpha.
Beta scram!
Doug Minnis
December 2010